If you asked ten people to picture the most romantic place in America, you’d get ten wildly different answers. Some see moonlit beaches; others imagine snowy cabin hideaways. But there’s one state that keeps popping up in the data, the votes, and the endless Instagram proposals—and it’s not always the obvious pick. According to a 2023 survey by Travel + Leisure, California wins the title of “most romantic state” more often than anywhere else. Not just the home of movie love stories and endless sunsets, but a place where real couples say they fall in love all over again.
What Makes a State Romantic? (Hint: It’s Not Just the Beaches)
Let’s get real—when people talk about romance, they’re not just talking candlelit dinners and fancy spas. Sure, California has endless beaches and world-class wine, and Vermont is coated in maple syrup sweetness every fall. But romance isn’t only about the scenery—though that helps. It’s about how a place feels and what you can do there with someone you care about. Think about the thrill of hiking a redwood trail together, the laughter as you taste-test three local wines and realize you have no idea what “oaky” means, or the coziness of cuddling up at Lake Tahoe after a day on the slopes. The most romantic state is the one that blends memories, surprises, and a touch of magic.
When travel experts rank romance, they look at more than just looks. Factors include the number of proposals per capita, marriage rates, romantic getaway bookings, and even the number of "I Love You" murals or photo ops. In 2024, hotel bookings for couples' getaways in California reached a 10-year high, especially in spots like Napa Valley, Santa Barbara, and Big Sur (American Hotel & Lodging Association hotels data, 2024). The Golden State ticks all the boxes: epic landscapes, dreamy city lights, quirky roadside motels, and so much variety you could have ten different honeymoons without leaving the state.
But let’s not forget the contenders. Hawaii has honeymoon vibes and sunset luaus, New York has city lights and Central Park proposals, and Colorado gives you starlit mountain lodges. According to a recent Expedia travelers’ poll, California still wins for most return visits by couples celebrating anniversaries.
So, why does California keep winning, even over some classic competition? For starters, there’s endless variety. Want to ride horses by the sea, share tacos in the Gaslamp Quarter, or glide across Yosemite in winter? It’s got you covered. And it’s not just big names—smaller spots like Carmel-by-the-Sea and Mendocino have topped “most romantic small towns” lists for years. Real couples say these places let them be “the main characters in their own rom-com.”
| State | % of Couples Choosing for Getaways (2023) | Notable Romantic Destinations |
|---|---|---|
| California | 34% | Napa Valley, Big Sur, Santa Barbara, Carmel |
| Hawaii | 19% | Maui, Oahu, Kauai, Lanai |
| New York | 15% | New York City, Hudson Valley, Niagara Falls |
| Vermont | 8% | Stowe, Burlington, Woodstock |
| Colorado | 7% | Aspen, Estes Park, Telluride |
But here’s a little secret—not all romance is Instagram-ready. Sometimes, it’s burning s’mores in a cabin in Montana, or dancing barefoot at an outdoor concert in Texas. But when people plan their “big” surprises, California’s the go-to.
California: Where Every Couple Finds Their Own Love Story
Ready for the details? If you haven’t done Napa Valley with your sweetheart, you’re missing out. Ask any wine lover, and they’ll tell you it’s not just the reds and whites—it’s the rolling hills, the dinners under twinkling lights, and the way time slows down. Napa alone sees about 9,000 marriage proposals every year, according to Visit Napa Valley.
Then there’s Big Sur, that jaw-drop stretch of rugged coastline. If your idea of romance is wild and windswept, this is the place. Many couples hike together, then end their day wrapped in blankets watching waves crash from a clifftop inn. “We came for the views and left convinced we’d already found the best date spot on earth,” one duo told Condé Nast Traveler.
Santa Barbara combines Spanish-mission charm with beach town relaxation. Picture couples riding tandem bikes along the ocean, sipping local pinot noir, or watching the sunrise together from Stearns Wharf. By the way, Santa Barbara's city tourism reports show weddings hit a new record high in 2024, even beating pre-pandemic numbers. The little town of Carmel-by-the-Sea isn’t just a name—it's a state of mind, all cobblestone streets, cozy inns, and secret courtyards strung with fairy lights. If you ever wanted to live inside a love poem, this is your spot.
Don’t sleep on the big city stuff, either. San Francisco wins points for date-night creativity—rooftop drinks, Golden Gate sunset walks, historic cable car rides. Los Angeles offers rooftop movie nights, secret gardens hidden downtown, and some of the top-rated couple’s spas in the world. And Yosemite? Room service meets stargazing, if you book right.
Let’s not forget the state’s romantic “hidden” gems: the lavender fields in Los Olivos, dinner trains in Mendocino, and retreats tucked under the redwoods in Santa Cruz. The Candlelight Concert Series in LA, with hundreds of glowing lanterns, sold out every weekend in 2024, creating the perfect “wow” date night.
Are Californians more romantic, or is the place just made for falling in love? “When the environment sets the mood, people open up, connect, and remember why they chose each other,” says relationship therapist Dr. Melissa Pope in
“The right atmosphere changes how we relate, deepens our sense of connection, and creates lasting memories.”
Want to plan your own getaway? Here are a few can’t-miss spots:
- Take a hot air balloon ride at sunrise over Temecula’s vineyards.
- Book a private beachfront picnic near Malibu.
- Stroll hand-in-hand through the wildflowers of Anza-Borrego (blooms hit their peak in March).
- Check out couple’s spa treatments (with ocean views) in Big Sur or Santa Monica.
- Plan a DIY photo scavenger hunt of San Francisco’s heart sculptures. Winner chooses dinner!
Don’t stress about “doing it right”—real romance is in the details you remember.
More Than Scenery: How to Create Real Romance, State by State
Not everyone can jet off to California, Hawaii, or New York. But every state has its sweet spots—even if they’re totally unexpected. A 2024 report from Booking.com looked at which states couples were choosing for anniversaries, proposals, and just-because weekends. The states rising fastest? Tennessee (think: live music in Nashville and starlit cabins in Gatlinburg), Washington (hello, misty Olympic rainforests), and Arizona (those out-of-this-world sunsets at Sedona).
What do these places have in common? They help you hit pause on the everyday rush. Whether it’s mountain cabins, lake retreats, quirky roadside diners, or haunted B&Bs (it happens, and people love them!), romance grows when you’re sharing curiosity, adventure, and a little sense of daring. “We found our spot on Lake Superior in Minnesota—no crowds, just us and a sky full of stars,” one reader confessed in a 2024 NYT travel feature.
So if you’re not headed to California, here are some ways to find or spark romance wherever you are:
- Hunt for local festivals—nothing says fun like a pie-eating contest or a lantern-lit walk through town square.
- Go beyond the usual with a sunrise kayak or sunset hike (pack a surprise snack, instant romance points).
- Book a stay at a retro motel or B&B with a history of famous love stories (many have them, just ask).
- Find a rooftop or overlook spot for your own private picnic.
- Create your own “two-person adventure”—could be anything from horseback riding to line dancing.
It’s really not about the perfect plan—it’s about creating memories together. As for the states, the top traits of “most romantic” are always the same: variety, scenery, a hint of surprise, and plenty of spaces that let you feel like you’re starring in your own great love story. But if you want the odds in your favor, most romantic state is the phrase you’ll find scribbled in guides next to California, more than anywhere else.
Romance isn’t one-size-fits-all, but certain places sure make the magic feel easy. That next unforgettable trip might be just a state away—or right under your nose, waiting for you to give it a chance.